What are your goals and what are you afraid of?

“Most men live life’s of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the music still in them” Henry David Thoreau

My dad has been trying to help me turn Wandering Bear Sports  into whatever it is meant to be. And as part of that process it requires me to look within and do some deep work on myself. Scary. 

Dad: what are your goals? 

For much of my adult life this was a simple question,  my goals revolved around the rugby field. Now with those days well and truly behind me this has become much more of a difficult thing to answer. What do I want to do, what do i want to be, how do i want to spend my time on this earth? Fuck.

Me: In the absolute simplest terms, i want to get up every day and spend my limited time on this earth doing work that i find meaningful. 

Dad: Great, what does that actually mean?

Hmmm, i thought I’d answered his question. What do i find meaningful? Fuck again.

Me: Well I’ve really enjoyed coaching this year, it’s satisfying. I like creating videos, i enjoy talking to people on my podcasts, i like making people laugh, i like cooking, I like writing, i like learning, i like teaching, i like selling gum, i like working things out, I’ve even started to enjoy my failures. 

Dad: Now we are getting somewhere, Can you sum it up into a couple of things?

Man, looking at yourself is hard.

Me: I think if i have to sum it up i would say i love creating, I love learning and i love teaching. 

Dad: You aren’t as stupid as you look. Now what are you afraid of?

That an easy question for me to answer.

Me: I’m afraid of judgement, failure, looking stupid, heights, I was afraid of getting married (dumbest fear ever), putting myself out there, i was afraid of doing a podcast (wanted to do it for years, dumb fear), I’m afraid of commitment, obligations, meaningless conversations, death, I’m afraid of someone i love dieing and to be honest I’m actually afraid of success.

Dad: What’s your biggest fear?

Me: Wasting my life and not reaching my potential. 

Dad: How do you know what your potential is?

Me: Shit. I guess I don’t, how could anyone know. But i would really like to test it out and see if i can find it. 

Dad: So your saying that your biggest fear is not taking the journey to find out what your true potential is?

Me: I guess that’s what I’m saying. 

Dad: Good, how can you use this as the backbone to help make Wandering Bear whatever it is supposed to be ??

Me: So maybe Wandering Bear Sports is supposed to be the journey of helping myself reach my potential and in doing so i can help others as well??

Dad: That’s a good start.